Are you living a balanced life?
Reading time: Approx. 5 minutes
If you’re in your 40s or 50s, chances are you’ve been thinking, talking, and reading about work-life balance more than a few times over the past couple of years.
You’ve probably also had conversations with friends or family about how the busyness of life is taking a toll on you or someone close to you.
Sounds familiar?
For some, leading a life in balance and harmony has become an overarching goal and yardstick. For others, it feels like an illusion reserved for the privileged few, or something that’s inferior to other, more important aspirations.
Whether you find yourself in one camp or the other, being conscious and clear about what balance means to you personally can be incredibly valuable.
Whatever it means to you, numerous studies show that balanced living has significant positive effects on health, wellbeing, career satisfaction, productivity, relationships, and even longevity.
If you're not reasonably clear about your version of balance, it may be time to examine it. It certainly was for me not so long ago.
What does a balanced life really mean?
In simple terms, it’s a sense of harmony between the key dimensions of your life. It’s about investing the right amount of time and energy in what matters most - whether that’s relationships, wellbeing, lifestyle, career, wealth, or personal growth.
The problem is that in today’s fast-paced world, achieving balance can feel almost impossible. Most of us strive to excel in every area of our lives. But none of us can have everything and do everything simultaneously - at least not for very long.
Balance does not mean dividing our time equally across life’s pillars. Balance isn’t symmetry. That’s a misconception I often hear.
Instead, balance is a deeply personal interpretation that varies from person to person. It requires that we feel fulfilled in the aspects of life that are most meaningful to us. Each of us must figure out what those are and adjust our life design if it feels out of sync with our values and priorities.
That is no easy feat, especially since our drivers of balance evolve through the various stages of life. What felt right in your 20s is likely different from what you need today.
And research confirms that many people don’t feel they live a balanced life. One recent survey found that 60% of workers globally report feeling out of balance and overwhelmed by responsibilities.
Whether looking at statistics or anecdotes, the evidence is clear: the way we’ve configured our busy lives, particularly in midlife, is a recipe for excessive stress, pressure, and disharmony for many.
Work - the enemy of life?
Work is often in the line of fire when discussing the lack of balance.
The idea of work-life balance has its roots in the Industrial Revolution, when factory workers often worked 10-16 hours a day, six days a week. In response, early labor movements fought for limits on working hours, and "balance" was framed as ensuring that people had enough leisure, family time, and rest alongside their work.
From the start, then, work-life balance has been about protecting wellbeing from overwork and exploitation. It addresses the human need for boundaries in a world that keeps eroding them, which seems like a noble quest.
But in doing so, it also positions work as the opposite of life, portraying it as a zero-sum game - if work takes more, life has less.
Reality is that work can be a source of meaning, identity, and joy too - not just a drain.
It’s complex, though. The way we experience work and the role it plays in our lives depends on several factors, including flexibility, autonomy, workload, ambition, and workplace culture.
Today, whether by design or due to circumstances, the line between work and leisure is becoming increasingly blurred. For many, the notion of “work versus life” feels outdated.
Is work-life integration the answer?
With hybrid work becoming the norm, the concept of work-life integration has gained traction.
Where work-life balance emphasizes separation, work-life integration encourages blending the two. They represent two distinct approaches to managing personal and professional responsibilities and shaping a balanced life.
Some people thrive on structure and clear boundaries. Others prefer a more integrated lifestyle, where the lines blur, but there’s flexibility to focus on what matters most in the moment.
Integration appeals to me personally and may be the “answer” to many modern professionals. But I also know that for some, fluid structures make it harder to stay present and effective.
That’s where boundaries matter - not to box in creativity or passion, but to allow the brain to recharge.
The bottom line is that neither approach is inherently better; what matters is what works for us individually.
This is also why the remote vs. office debate is unnuanced at best. As long as we deal with it as a binary question about which paradigm is best, we will not get it right. Minimum in-office policies may feel like a decent compromise, but compromises tend to be acceptable for many while optimal for none.
A truly human-centric model probably looks different.
(Maybe a topic for another piece … if I dare)
A shift in perspective
Regardless of personal preferences, balance becomes more relevant as we move through midlife.
Many of us find ourselves at a crossroads - our children are growing up, our health needs shift, and the infamous hamster wheel seems to spin faster than ever.
I’ve always worked a lot, and I still do. But recently, I decided to prioritize my time a little differently to make more room for other important aspects of life.
One turning point was being asked how I spend a typical week. Looking at my schedule made me realize that continuing with that allocation of my time for the next 10 or 20 years didn’t feel right.
Another was noticing envy toward friends who lived their lives differently - who were deliberately optimizing for time flexibility and agency, which for some meant compromising on wealth and traditional career progression.
Those realizations nudged me to take balance more seriously - adjusting my course a little, enough to make a small difference today and hopefully a significant one in the long run.
5 practical steps toward (more) balance
As stressed earlier, there’s no single blueprint. Each of us has to shape our own version - and accept that it will shift over time.
If you’re in midlife and struggling to give most of your time and energy to what truly matters, here are some steps that have helped me and might help you, too:
Define what balance means to you. Be intentional. Picture a (more) balanced life in your terms. Is it working fewer hours - or working differently? Spending more time with family or friends? Prioritizing health or hobbies? Be specific. Then decide which priorities are non-negotiable and which you’re willing to trade off.
Audit your time. Look at how you spend your time in a typical week. Are you dedicating enough time and attention to what matters most? If not, what can you shift? Where can you cut back? Identify easy or smaller adjustments you can make now, rather than attempting to turn your life upside down.
Minimise future regrets. Project yourself thirty years forward. Looking back, are there aspects of your life today that you wish you had changed? Choices you wish you had made differently? By imagining regrets in advance, you may uncover insights that can help you adjust more effectively today.
Protect your own space. Every “yes” to something unimportant is a “no” to what matters. Practice saying “no”. Learn to comfortably decline non-essential obligations, meetings, and events that don’t align with your priorities. Invest that reclaimed time in yourself. It will pay dividends in all areas of your life.
Revisit frequently. Through midlife, our goals, priorities, and circumstances evolve - and so must our blueprint for balance. Check in with yourself regularly to see what needs re-adjusting.
Most advice on balance sounds simple (if not banal). The hard part is living it - moving it from head to heart, from knowing to doing.
That’s the crux: shaping a balanced life is less an intellectual or logistical exercise than an emotional and, to an extent, a spiritual one. It requires examining and aligning the many sides of who we are.
Perhaps that’s why balance remains one of midlife’s greatest challenges - and deepest desires. If you’ve discovered the secret, I’d love to hear it. If not, let’s keep comparing notes. What does balance mean to you, and how are you pursuing it right now?
