If You Don’t Shape Your Career Story, Others Will

Jan 19

Have you ever been asked, “So, what do you do?” or “What brought you to where you are today?” - and felt like your answer didn't quite capture who you really are?

Or maybe you’re considering a career shift and wondering how to make sense of everything you’ve done so far.

If that sounds familiar, you’re not alone.

In midlife, when we’ve built up years - even decades - of experience, connecting the dots of our journey can feel surprisingly hard.

But one thing I’ve learned through my own career pivots: your career story is one of the most powerful tools you have – both for yourself and for how others see you.

And not only if you’re looking to transition to a new career. The way we tell our stories positions us in the world and directly shapes what others believe we’re capable of.

What is a career story?

A career story is not just a list of roles or achievements. It's a narrative that ties your past experiences to your present and potential future.

A good career story helps explain:

Who you’ve become
What you’ve learned and value now
Where you might be heading next - even if that part is still taking shape.

What’s fascinating is that the story you tell yourself about your past is not an accurate reflection of events, but rather a reflection of how you feel and think about your life in the present.

As psychologist Brent Slife states in his book “Time and Psychological Explanation”:

We reinterpret or reconstruct our memory in light of what our mental set is in the present. In this sense, it is more accurate to say the present causes the meaning of the past than it is to say that the past causes the meaning of the present. Our memories are not “stored” and “objective” entities but living parts of ourselves in the present. This is the reason our present moods and future goals affect our memories.

In other words, we interpret our past through who we are now. And that means we can consciously reshape our story - not by inventing anything, but by choosing the meaning we give past experiences.

The same events can produce radically different stories depending on the lens we apply.

Everyone has a story - but few use it deliberately

Most of us have been conditioned to think about our careers in a CV-like sequence of jobs, projects, and titles.

The problem is that’s not how people understand potential.

When you don’t shape your story intentionally:

You get reduced to your last job title or project
People don’t see your strengths, values, and traits - what makes you uniquely you
You struggle to explain why a new direction makes sense
Others can’t connect the dots - and may not even try

I realised this the first time I left my corporate career to start my own business. Until then, my identity had been so closely tied to being “the corporate guy” that I struggled to convey who I was without that label.

And I couldn’t explain to others how my new direction made sense and why it was a credible path.

I had to rework my story to make sense of the leap for myself and for others to understand and support my shift.

To symbolically mark the transition, I gave away all my suits and ties (there were a lot) and used this as an anecdote in my change story to help others trust that I was serious and understand what I was going through.

I learned that unless you shape your story, others will shape it for you - and usually not in the way you want.

Deliberately reworking my story turned out to be a very powerful thing.

Your story defines how others see your potential

As annoying as it may be, how others perceive your ability to grow, adapt, and lead in new areas depends on the story you tell them, unless they already know you well.

If you don’t explain how your experiences fit together - and how they’ve prepared you for what’s next - people may not see beyond your resume.

But when you own your story and tell it well, you help others see a broader version of who you are. You help them connect dots they wouldn’t otherwise connect.

When I started talking about how my strategy and leadership experiences had shaped my ability to build a business, and how aspects of my corporate career had involved various entrepreneurial endeavours, people's confidence in me grew.

They could see the connection because I had shown it to them.

Your story reveals your transferable skills

Here’s another benefit: crafting your story helps you uncover skills you may not have fully recognised.

When you step back and look at your journey as a whole, you’ll start to notice patterns:

Skills you’ve used across different roles.
Strengths and traits that keep showing up.
Themes and values that have guided your decisions.

Looking back on my own career, I realised that whether I was running a corporate team, managing a regional P&L, advising as a management consultant, or building my own business, I was consistently drawn to solving complex problems, setting strategic direction, leading through change, and working across functions and cultures.

Seeing these threads clearly allowed me to broaden my profile and value in others' eyes, opening new doors.

The specificity of your transferable skills depends on what you do and the organisational level at which you operate. What’s important in any case is that you try to connect skills to context and outcomes.

Right now, I’m navigating a new narrative challenge.

My writing and coaching on midlife transition, which I do on the side of my “day job,” don’t obviously follow from my existing story. It’s not apparent to others how there's a connection.

So, I’m reshaping my narrative again - this time around creativity, curiosity, analytical thinking, and a lifelong passion for transformation, now applied at the individual rather than organizational level.

Still a work in progress - but that’s the point. Career stories evolve as we evolve.

How to start crafting your career story

There’s no cookie-cutter formula, but here are five steps that might help:

Step 1: Look Back - Identify Key Moments

Think about defining moments in your career and life.

What were the turning points?
When did you feel most alive, stretched, or challenged?

Step 2: Find the Red Thread - What Connects It All?

Look for commonalities and patterns.

What values and passions show up again and again?
What skills or traits do you keep using - across jobs and even outside work?

Step 3: Define the Present - Who Are You Now?

Based on where you’ve been, how do you describe yourself today?

What feels unmistakably “you” (strengths and personal characteristics)?
Who are you in the process of becoming – for example, shifting values and priorities?

Step 4: Imagine the Future - Where Are You Going?

Paint a picture of where you might be heading.